Can you hear me now?

One of the basic philosophies I hold in my center is that you give in order to get. This is modern version of the Golden Rule. Stolen from basic economic theory, that if you can make enough deposits, your interests will grow, thus enabling you to make worthy withdrawals.

And I suppose that the thing I search for, strive for, seek for, live for, is the sense of connectedness. Not just a mere sharing. But a sharing primed for knowing, belonging…an intimate acceptance of the triumph and tragedy that is me, this Special K.

The primary way I am fulfilled remains curiously exploring the world and receiving feedback that there is space for me. that somewhere, somehow, and not all the time, but just sometimes, it can contain me.

So I require feedback. Of the communicative type.

Extending back to my graduate training in theology, psychology and even my master’s in education shapes my value for communication. Nonverbal, visual, spoken…and my ultimate personal cross, written.

The sign of my passion and redemption.

And it isn’t just a small thing “women want out of a relationship.” Failure to communicate is THE underlying cause of any societal failure (politics, prejudice, poverty). Reading the Four Agreements, this theme is underscored again….Be True in Your Word. Working in the field of Pediatrics, one of my evaluation skills is attempting to evaluate the communication skills of children. This passage hit me:

Very young children are not afraid to express what
they feel. They are so loving that if they perceive love, they melt into love. They are not afraid to love at all. That is the description of a normal human being. As children we are not afraid of the future or ashamed of the past. Our normal human tendency is to enjoy life, to play, to explore, to be happy, and to love

People don’t need to LEARN how to communicate. They do it naturally. Children are not afraid to say “you don’t act like a DOCTOR!” or “I don’t want to give it to you” because they are not afraid of reproach. They learn how to fear, and thus, to disconnect, from themselves, from others. And when we don’t feel connected, communication dissolves…and intimacy then withers.

So…you want to communicate? Connect. I am learning and relearning and coming to the same place over and over, and finding that I don’t know where I am at all, but also knowing the way.

We don’t want to just be heard. Or seen. To be free, like that child, to love what we love…the freedom to be. To say what I feel, not because I am NOT afraid, but because I am.

Can you hear me now?

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Can you hear me now?

  1. I am always amazed at what comes out of Maya’s mouth, 100% unfiltered. Sometimes I feel bad that I have to tell her she can’t say something because I know it’s the beginning of the end for her…but I am definitely learning to speak with freedom, just as you write here.

  2. Being able to communicate is to be able to deeply share in our experience in the world, to feel understood and appreciated and truly seen. It is a vital part of life. And yet a tricky one. I have often felt lonely when surrounded by people — in classes, at work, in my hometown, because I didn’t feel understood. Part of the problem was that I always wanted to engage with the world in a way that didn’t interest the people around me.

    Anyways, I miss you K. I love your pic and your new layout. Sorry that I have been MIA. Your life sounds fantastic from my inbox but I haven’t had time to catch up. Every post is about some amazing adventure!

    Hey. Where are you this week? I have a friend passing through Germany.

  3. So true that to receive, we must first give and why isn’t this being practiced more in our world. We are social beings and our most basic need is to be acknowledged and feel the connection with our being and others.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s