Question: What do we mean when we say “everything in Moderation?”
In the past week or so, I’ve been feeling uncomfortable in my own skin quite frequently. Let’s not catastrophize and not recall the good moments—work kicks me up a notch a few hours each day, I am fulfilled, challenged and purposeful there, and a some very connecting moments with friends out here—but these were punctuated by BLAH BLAH BLAH internal sense of not being in control. Or doing “my best” and it failing to generate instant peppy-ness.
I just wasn’t feeling BALANCED. and that made me feel like I had done something wrong! I started questioning everything I did…am I running too much, eating too little, reading too much at home, traveling too much…putting too much coriander in this soup.
At the same time, a woman at the library was counseling another woman that she was losing weight by allowing herself only one dessert every three days. A nurse in the department advised a a friend that she only eats red meat “in moderation,” or a few times each month. A person on the TV at the GYM (the only place I am exposed to TV) was giving advice at the Holiday season only to choose one “splurge” per event, and say no to more than three a week in order to prevent ungainly….gains. The best diet for singles? One appetizer, one drink, a salad and maybe dessert. It says “I can eat, but I am not a porker.”
HA! I thought, not ironically, while spinning in reverse on the elliptical. Blog comments say this all the time…
I think that everything, there’s no good or bad food, in moderation, is okay
The is the “new” diet, but has been around for ages…Translation: CONTROL MORE, (in this case, eat less) and you win. When you can “control your hunger” and slay the beast of temptation by following the moderation golden rule.
But there are alternatives to this recommendation. More and more, forces reveal that the “rule” to “eat in moderation” may be the same old dictate of “eat less,” if you eat a certain number of points or calories—-GOOD JOB. Moderation is touting as DIET.
But this gussied up version, rolled in lower glycemic points and sprinkled with a little bit of healthy unsaturated fat and the occasional fried side…well….it tastes good to me. I swallow it happily and feel a little superior that I only eat red meat “in moderation.” A friend eliminating troublesome food and I advise, “Go on, eat a little popcorn, it won’t KILL you!” It makes me feel “RIGHT” only splurge on shoes “in moderation.” I only go the movies “in moderation.” I only bitch and moan “in moderation.”
I only want to pull the hair out on some of my patients “in moderation.”
If I could win at the moderation game, I’d be PERFECT.
I am a moderation congregant. The philosophy goes: I am better than you if you can’t get your act together and reign in those portions or ration out your wine to only 2 times a week. I will be saved if I can not run over 25 miles a week (someone told me that was my “max” allowance for my running addiction recovery) and you burn into crispyness in purgatory should you go out to lunch more than two times per week.
But at least everyone will look a little more attractive, then, right?
So…this isn’t a blog about how I rationalize drinking now every night. BUT I do. And I don’t portion out my peanut butter. And I don’t count my cups of coffee. I continue to enjoy these beauties so because I LOVE it…little portions of unearned grace that FUEL me emotionally. It doesn’t hurt my functioning….unless I am stuck in a room with 5 chaotic monkeys, and then, I beg “get me out of this meeting so I can drink, already!”
but still, if I am drinking communion at the altar of moderation, a little erk of guilt leaks out as it breaks the moderation rule. I think “am I being moderate? am I in balance?
The alternative to the Moderation Diet is TRUSTING yourself, right?
It’s the intuitive approach. You don’t gorge, and you don’t follow number rules. You are authentic to your hunger.
Nourishing Connections helps me do so. We do crave red meat people….it’s a natural byproduct of chemical levels. And we crave wine…it’s a natural byproduct of spiritual levels. And we crave…well, not really a sense of stability but STRENGTH.
Because the road is anything but smooth, but I…I am one bitch of a navigator
All this striving to be balanced can actually make us, me, more unbalanced. Moderation philosophy can make us, me, too im-moderate. When, for some, me, it’s about graciously noticing the passion, the verve, the too much or too little in these little matters and trusting that it will all come out as it should be.