There is no recipe

Trust your gut. Listen to your heart. Go with your flow.

Phrases intended to invoke the young heroine to drop her suitcase in the middle of the road and sprint herself in the direction of her soul mate, or to propel the middle age man to leap up from his desk and declare that he will no longer subsist in mediocre employment.

But really, culture doesn’t want you to adhere to your intuition. Food giants market the health of this yogurt, for its vitamins and priobiotics (and also HFCS). Magazine sell the sex of particular hair products. Celebrities narrowly define, literally, your threshold for attractiveness.  Storylines of movies and shows hallmark the road to success: College, Job, Marriage, House, Children. THERE ARE RULES PEOPLE!

Your institution, what feels good, shouldn’t be trusted. It will lead you down a “rabbit hole.”

Have you seen Alice in Wonderland? Although I am more a Wizard of Oz fan (Tim Burton, take THAT challenge on!) lunch in France the other day served as the perfect primer to discuss the story’s symbolism that “is this a dream?” of Alice fighting back against the pressures of the RULES.

And sure, if you use this anti-wrinkle cream, your lines may diminish. If you use these three tips, you’ll save $3.23 at the market. If you turn your body this way and show off your Issac Mizrahi pumps, he may get the signal that you’re into him. And if you get a liberal arts degree, you might get a good job.

But these are NOT the recipes for a happy life.

Bologna Italy Food Market

THERE IS NO RECIPE. And I know you…and me…and us humans. We LOVE recipes, but we never follow them exactly. We want to add our own flair. That pinch of cardamom.

When did we stop feeling for ourselves? I think we THINK for ourselves. We think “I need to “think myself thinner” or “do speed intervals today” but with all the messages bombarding us to do this, and stop that, it is so easy to not honor the intuition.

THERE IS NO recipe. I went to Harvard. I am not more successful than you. I eat my vegetables. I may die sooner than you. I am thin. I experience less romance than you.  

From the bottom of my gut, unearthing my intuition takes muscles. Enduring uncomfortable heaving, it also takes time. 

And that sucks for my impatient self….making it tempting to find comfort in that recipe again: Run this much and that means you are worthy. Eat this and that means you are healthy.

The intuition says: follow that hunger: taste the morsel of that bread with a trio of spreads (tomato/chorizo, artichoke/olive, salted butter) ,  imbibe that tart-tar of smoked fish and cream cheese, enjoy the indiscernible foam of some sort,  be impressed by a gratin of  layered organic lamb, potato, vegetables, suck in the a tower of berry sorbet wrapped in almond macaroons, and listen to your gut as you honor a trio of truffle, chocolate espresso cream, and corn almondines. 

THERE is no recipe. There is just you, and your gut, and life in the here and now.


6 thoughts on “There is no recipe

  1. This is so well written! I like the way you think. I always have problem following. Let it be a recipe, somebody’s advice.. I just don’t get it. The best way to learn is the hard way. Let us fall and pick up the pieces, that may not be the traditional way but definitely the one that will teach us something.
    BTW both of those movies are my favourite. I may prefer a tiny bit more Alice but Wizard of Oz rocks too! 🙂

  2. Wow!! This is one of your best!! I think because I feel I needed to hear it today. Sometimes we need to throw logic out the door and believe in what we know in our hearts is the real thing..kinda like knowing you have one of the brightest, most beautiful young woman in your life…that being my daughter. And knowing in your heart she understands better than anyone else how her mom’s heart works. Just keep making those recipies your own…always

  3. SUCH a fantastic post!! This is so true. Look at celebrities. They may be “beautiful”, “rich and successful” but are they all happy? HELL no! Some are, sure, but not all. Yet that’s who we all try to be, with our wrinkle creams, shine enhancing shampoos, botox, boobs, yadda yadda. It’s crazy. Can’t we just be happy being ourselves? Ugh, what’s our world coming to??

    And I would LOVE it if Tim Burton did something with the Wizard of Oz!! How cool would that be?! Great idea!

  4. Just wanted to let you know that I don’t really have food rules. I do follow the, I just count different foods as different food groups (like soy milk is counted as milk, tempeh is counted as vegetable OR protein, etc. Like I said in the post). I’m not sure I could make an entire post about it! It’s very simple, my philosophy 🙂

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