Yes, IF

In October, I will be moving overseas to serve as a psychologist in a pediatrics department in a large hospital. The move has really invigorated me, allowing me to let go of my anxieties regarding “the direction my life is heading” and “what do or where do you want to go?” Reflective in nature, my brain often suffocates in over pontification, the victim of too many choices and vast land of possibilities saturate it. So, I’ve let go a bit. Stretching more into my life, having energy to partake in activities I’ve hankered for in the past and bringing them to fruition. Joined a hiking group, been talking to this charming guy at yoga (The inflexible girl CAN bend!) strolled around farmer’s markets tasting Bacon Ice Cream, going on dinner cruises. Perhaps it is the summer, the long light warming my spirit awake to notice how trees stand like Titans and the small sparrows chirp in contstant hunger. Or maybe it’s because I know that my time here is limited…and I trusting that “carpe diem” will fulfill me. And yet, single people do move more…this constant state of moving may give others hesitation “I don’t want to start that (relationship/project/class) because I won’t be here in three months.”
In many ways, I am the opposite, plunging myself headfirst into the small community around me. I threw a sock and salad swap last week at work, arranging guests to bring a pair of socks and salads to “share.” We’re doing appetizers and accessories next. I want to engage, I want to continue building friendships…and others seem to say to me “but you’re leaving soon…”After my late twenties, I recognized that the working individual is faced with a tough challenge of building relationships, especially if most of your colleagues are married with children. The friends of mine who are married with children that I share an intimate relationship with are those friends where we solidified our bond prior to them becoming married/with child. “Would you start a relationship right now?”Of course I would…My mantra right now is to BE OPEN. If I start living “no, because” (no, I can’t go out with him because he has facial hair) instead of YES, IF (yes, I will take that class if it ends by 8pm tonight), my life would be less authentic, and a perception of DEFICIT would persist. Don’t use a stage of your life as a excuse. In the end, you’ll end up starved.

Advertisements

One thought on “Yes, IF

  1. THis is an interesting post. It is pretty profound to find yourself where you are actually. Not just you, but everyone. The journey/road that has taken us to the present place in life is amazing to me. Having my bachelors in psyc. and masters in marriage and family, but being in the place I am presently is just crazy to me. Never would have guessed that I would have ended up where I am today. I relate very well to the anxiety experienced by you regarding the vast number of choices and roads.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s