The Secret of Success

Success…saying that word out loud is a little sexy…the sounds rolls off the tongue a bit wontingly. (Try it out, a bit slow…S-aaah-kkk-esssss)
I love the rush of feeling capable, confident, assured in my ability to complete my intentions. Success, for me, means intentionally living out experiences that align with my values…
That’s pretty heady, though…because a lot of time I fall into the trap of feeling successful when my surroundings signal that I am. This means that I feel successful at being attractive when my boss says very casually, “you look nice today,” or when someone says, “great job on that assessment.” I feel successful at friendship when others seek me out. I feel successful at finances when I time getting gas perfectly in order to go to the place 10cents less than others. I feel successful at being single when I delight in doing whatever I feel like each weekend.
My darling friend whom I’ve known for over 15 years, told me that success feels like she’s “doing a good job,” which for many of us women spans from making a tasty meal to engaging in a passionate sex life. But, if we looked at our accomplishments, or failures, a bit more realistically, we’d see that we aren’t as soley responsible for doing”our good job” as we think we are.
That great meal Icooked was just as much due to the fact that the ingredients I used were are their random peakness, or that my friend emailed you with a reputable recipe. That great sex I just had may have had to due with what time of the month I was in or if the guy’s basketball team was winning or losing.
That doesn’t mean I am not a fabo chef or a attentive lover…it just means that sometimes success ISN’T ALL ABOUT ME!
I can make the same argument for the tizzy-fits I have over my innane failures…
I guess we could talk about what society says makes a single woman, or any person successful…But I am more interested in what “success” feel like to you? Do single women define success differently than those with partners?


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